Surivor's guilt
by Izume Hope
Summary: Years have passed since the aliens left and all of them and all of the mews have been through quite some rough things ever since. How much has that changed them? Enough to finally admit their feelings? KxI TxP PxL serie of three one-shot's
1. Chapter 1: Pudding and Taruto

**Well, for the first time ever I have decided that this was just too long to be a one-shot. So, I made it into a short story of three chapters. Each chapter can be seen as a one-shot, only with the same background storyline. If you don't like one of the pairings involved, you can just skip that chapter.**

**O, and I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew of course.**

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><p>It's silent in the cemetery, as it is supposed to be. The only sound there is to be heard is the peaceful singing of the birds and the wind that makes the leaves in the trees rustle under its light touch. There is a scent of sad sighs in the fresh spring air in combination with upcoming rain. Clouds come rolling in from sea, but it'll still take a little while before the rain will actually start.<p>

A young girl uses this opportunity of not yet raining to replace the flowers on the grave she is sitting in front of. She tenderly wipes away some sand from the stone and caresses the pink flowers in the blue vase. "Good afternoon, sensei" she whispers "How have you been?".

Blossom floats down towards the ground, its petals touching the young girl and the graves around her. Its pink colour matches with the healthy blush on her cheeks, but contrasts heavily with the broken look in her brown eyes. No, not even broken. Empty. It is a shallow look. As if nothing brings her joy. The look of one damned.

She doesn't cry. She's stopped crying a very long time ago. It's no use, you know. What good can tears do? It doesn't bring anyone back to life. Nothing brings anyone back to life. Death is inevitable and irreversible. If there's something she's learned the past few years it is that.

"I'm sorry I didn't visit last week. I had to perform at the birthday party of one of your old students. I could not turn the offer down, I'm a little short of cash nowadays… Nothing to worry about, of course! I can easily handle it".

Yes, easily handle it… Not really. She's almost broke. But she's got a lot of appointments for the upcoming week, so she just has to bear with it for a little longer. It'll be over again soon enough and everything will be fine again.

The girl remains silent. Normally she tries to come up with something fun to tell, but she can't think of anything. Her life isn't that great at the moment.

Eventually she just begins to tell her sensei about the party she performed on. Not that anything special happened, but, well, she has to do something, right? She talks for about an hour, babbling on about insignificant things like she knows her sensei always used to love. She puts up a happy face and talks and talks and talks. Until she really can't talk anymore. That's when she closes her mouth and stands up. "I have to go now, Heicha is waiting for me. I'll come back next week. I'll be sure to bring you some new flowers, then. Enjoy the rain!". And gone she is. The young girl with the brown eyes and blond hair walks down the path of the cemetery, in the direction of the exit. Her smile is gone.

It's been a year or three now since the fire. She remembers it like yesterday, though. She saw it. She saw it from afar. She remembers the horrible feeling, as if she'd walked straight into a horror film. Her eyes filled themselves with tears when she didn't even know what was happening yet. She just began to run, run, run towards the kindergarten. That's when she saw it. The fire.

She's never been more afraid in her life.

That's all you're going to hear about it, though. She never talks about that sight. Never. Not about the screams she heard, not about how the building collapsed right in front of her eyes. Not about when she felt a pang of relief because all of the children had been picked up already by their parents an hour ago. Not about the moment she realised who was still inside. Or, who had been inside. Who had surely died. Not about the horrible moments of waiting till she heard it. The news. Not about how many times she heard: "I'm sorry for your loss" those days. Not about how her smile had faded and her tears had eventually stopped. Not about anything at all. She keeps her mouth shut and her face straight.

As she walks on she passes a large, old tree that's been on the cemetery since the beginning of time. On the branches, hidden between the leaves, there is a narrowed caramel eye watching her. It belongs to a young boy, about seventeen years old. His eye looks cold and his expression is emotionless. He has a bitter air around him and his clothing is dirty. But most striking is the black eye patch he is wearing. His exposed eye carefully follows the sight of the young girl through the cemetery.

The girl doesn't notice him, she's completely unaware of anyone's presence. She's so used to being alone in this small cemetery and she comes on such unusual times that she's just forgotten that there is a possibility someone else is also there. She just walks on, coming closer and closer to the big gate that is the entrance and exit of the cemetery. Until she suddenly stops in the middle of the path and turns to a gravestone. The boy's eye watches as she squads down in front of it and smiles lightly. "Good afternoon, Heicha".

Yes. Even though all of the other children had been picked up already, Heicha had still been with sensei. Because she hadn't been there to pick her up. She had had to work that day and it had drawn out quite long. So she had called sensei and told her she'd be later to pick Heicha up.

That had killed them both.

If sensei wouldn't have stayed there for Heicha, she'd be alive right now. If she had just picked up Heicha on time like she promised she would, they'd both be alive right now.

The girl clenches her hands to fists and finds that she can still cry. Salt drops fall down on the earth, which greedily sucks them up. She buries her face in her hands and her shoulders jolt. "Heicha… Heicha…".

Two hands place themselves on her shoulders, their grip tight and comforting. Startled the girl jumps up, her hand sliding to her necklace to hold its pendant, her facial expression immediately turning suspicious and alert, although she is still crying. When she turns around to face the one that startled her she narrows her eyes.

She recognises the boy in front of her from somewhere… Slowly she takes him in. He doesn't seem surprised by her jumping up. He seems very hard to surprise. The bitter air around him makes her shiver a little.

At the same time the caramel eye of the boy glides over her body. "Yo. Monkey". The girl's eyes narrow a little further. "Monkey? That's an insult". The boy sniggers and runs a hand through his brown hair. He looks at her through a tress that hangs in front of his eye. The caramel seems to burn, in a way. "It's true, isn't it?". "I don't know what you're talking about" the girl answers unsurprised. "Why, what a shame" he answers in a soft voice. They remain silent for a little while. "Who are you?" she then asks him in suspicion. He sniggers softly again and reaches out his hand to caress her face with his fingertips. "Don't you remember me, then? Now _that_ is an insult, monkey". She goes through her memory to search for a face like his, but if she ever met anyone with an eye patch like he has she would have easily recognised

him. She stares into his one caramel eye and takes in his face. He is pale. He is tall. He is bitter.

"_Don't call me that, you midget! One day I'm going to make you cry for real!". _

Her eyes widen. He smiles.

"Ta…ru…to…". "Good afternoon, Pudding". Pudding's mouth falls open. "But… you… how…". She looks completely puzzled, although the tears have stopped falling. There are now only tear marks on her cheeks. He watches her shock in amusement. "What happened to your ears?" she asks. Taruto blinks. Of all the things he had expected her to ask… "It's something Pai came up with a couple of years ago. A way to hide them. It's very technical, so don't ask me 'bout the details, 'cause I don't know them. It's not my thing". "But… how… you…". "You're repeating yourself, midget ". "Shut up!". She's still got that puzzled look on her face.

This is impossible. After six years… he's suddenly here? Taruto, the alien she befriended when she was supposed to fight him. That time in her life seems to have been ages ago. Hundreds and hundreds of years. So much has happened since they left… so many things have changed… so many people… have died…

Taruto cups her cheek to look her in the eye. There is a worried flickering in the bitter caramel. "Hey, you okay?". Pudding stares up at him and slowly shakes her head. "No. Not at all". Taruto sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. It seems to be a tic. It does look incredibly hot, though.

She feels a blush run over her cheeks because of thinking that, but Taruto doesn't seem to notice. "So I thought" he answers seriously "You look like you've been through hell, monkey". Pudding sniggers mirthlessly. "O, but I have. I most certainly have".

She feels his fingers encircle her wrists, immediately noticing the cold they spread, and when she looks up into his eyes again they're standing in front of one of the benches in the cemetery on twenty feet distance from her little sister's grave. Taruto sits down unmoved, pulling her down too. "Sit down and talk" he demands. Pudding sits down next to him, but does send him an indignant look. "Don't you pull me down like that, Tar-Tar!".

For a second they both remain silent, frozen. The word echoes through the air.

_Tar-Tar…_

She didn't really mean to say it. It just happened. Very naturally. Taruto smiles a little shocked smile and looks her in the eye. Pudding blinks a couple of times and then smiles carefully too. Yeah, they're still friends. She sees that now. One way or another that hasn't changed at all in the past few years. As they keep on staring the other in the eye Pudding slowly begins to get a bit nervous, a feeling she remembers from liking a boy in her class a couple of years ago. She gulps and can't help but feeling the cold of his skin on hers turning into a burning heat.

"Well, talk" Taruto repeats. He looks curiously at her. But Pudding looks back with the same curiosity. "You first" she demands in her turn. "Why that?" he asks indignantly. "Because you already know something about what has happened to me" she says, gesturing at their surroundings "And I am just dying to know what happened to you". Shamelessly she stares at his eye patch, knowing he won't mind. "O…" he says softly while touching it "That…". "Yes" she answers "That". "It's nothing" he says casually while leaning back "Just some battle scar. Didn't even hurt that bad". "Battle scar?" Pudding repeats alarmed, her eyes narrowing again "How come you've got a battle scar?". Taruto looks at her in surprise and laughs. "Why, I've fought. That must be clear to you, right?". Pudding blushes and looks away. "I figured that" she mumbles "You know what I meant. Why would you fight?". Taruto shrugs his shoulders. "Well, if someone attacks me I fight back. That's just the way things go". "Why would anyone attack you?". She seems so surprised by this idea, as if there would never be a reason good enough to attack him in her eyes, that he feels something strange in his chest. He doesn't show, though. He's not the type to show his feelings or anything like that. He used to show them a lot, he knows that. But he's changed. Everything's changed.

"I have a lot of enemies, midget". "Enemies?". She gets more surprised with each sentence he speaks. "How come? You saved your planet, didn't you?". Taruto remains silent and looks away at the cemetery. Pudding stares at his pale face. "Didn't you?" she carefully repeats. Now Taruto looks back at her and she can see the bitterness of his air very heavily in his caramel eye. "We did. But we also betrayed our great leader. For that, we got punished". Pudding's eyes widen and her mouth falls open a little. "You saved… your planet…" she tries to comprehend it "And you… got _punished_?". She falls silent for precisely one second. In that one second he can see something rising from her heart into her eyes. Something strong and burning, like fire: rage. "In what kind of disgusting way do people associate with each other on your planet?". She really seems to be angry, an adorable frown on her face and her hands clenched to fists. Taruto takes her clenched fists into his open hands and gives her a penetrating look. "Don't misunderstand, you. We're usually not that cruel. But we _killed_ our leader, our God. The one we worshipped most of all. Of course we got punished". "Even after saving all of their lives?". Pudding still can't believe it. That is just so… wrong. Not natural. Taruto's turn to snigger mirthlessly. "They didn't want it". A short silence. "Excuse me…?" Pudding then asks. "They didn't want to accept the Mew Aqua" Taruto says slowly, articulating every word very carefully "We presented it to our leaders after explaining what had happened and they didn't want it". "They didn't… _want_ it? Even though it was the thing that could save them?". "No". "That's _ridiculous_!". Pudding throws her hands into the air in indignation. Taruto grabs her wrists again and pulls them down, sending her a penetrating look. "Maybe. But it was the situation we were in. They wanted to destroy the Mew Aqua and put us away in some nasty dungeon. But like hell we'd let that happen! We're soldiers, for Gods sake! They really should have known better…". Pudding stares at his face, urging him to continue. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair again, immediately taking her hand back in his after that. "I wanted to stay and fight, but Pai said that retreating was probably the best thing to do on that moment if we still wanted to save the planet. Kisshu agreed after calming down, so I was forced to come with them. After five years of being chased and attacked we finally managed to find a way, or, well, _Pai_ finally managed to find a way to put the Mew Aqua into the ground and revive our planet. Our leaders, who had till then believed the Mew Aqua was something evil, saw its beauty and stopped chasing us down". He touches his eye patch with one hand. "Not before I lost an eye, though". "How…" Pudding doubtfully tries to ask "How did it happen?". He looks at her. "Dagger. Hurt like hell". Pudding's eye twitches in pure horror. Taruto laughs mirthlessly again. "It's nothing, really! You should see Kisshu, he took most of the hits…". Pudding ignores him completely and without knowing what she's doing she moves her hands towards his face and asks him with her eyes if she can take off his eye patch. His silence gives consent, so she carefully takes off the thing, not yet looking at his scar until she has put it down next to her. Then she goes to sit on her knees on the bench so she can look him in the eye easily and finally glances at what once was his left eye. What she sees repels her as well as it makes her want to touch it. Let's just keep it to that. Her fingers reach out and carefully she touches the thin, maimed skin. "Awful…". Her voice is not more than a whisper of loathing. Not loathing for what she sees, but loathing for the fact that it is there. Loathing for the reason it is there. She looks at Taruto, who suddenly looks like a lonesome little boy. He's definitely been through a hell too, she can see that. Just one that's different from the one she's been through.

She crawls onto his lap, face to face. "What are you-?". She interrupts him by placing her arms around his neck and embracing him tightly. "Poor Tar-Tar… I'm so sorry…". Taruto is absolutely frozen, his eye widens. But with this old friend, this girl he's so very much in love with, this little monkey embracing him tightly he realises that this is what he has been longing for someone to do for years. No, for her to do. He's longed for her. Terribly. So he just returns her embrace and lets their pain mingle in their touch, reducing it from a heavy fire to a little flame. The comfort they both find in that embrace is so big they'd thought it was impossible. Yet it's there. And they enjoy it as much as possible.

"You're not leaving me again, are you?" Pudding asks him after a while of just holding. Her voice trembles and so do her lips. He smiles. "Of course not" he says softly "I can't, even if I wanted to. I need you, midget". "I need you just as much…". "Tell me all about it, sweetie". Sweetie… where did that one come from? "Later" Pudding only sighs "I'll tell you later…". "Fine with me" Taruto answers while loosening his grip a bit so he can look her in the eye. Pudding stares at his scar and then carefully kisses it. "A kiss and all goes away…" she whispers when she sees his stunned expression. Taruto smiles enchanted. "Really?" he asks while bringing his face closer to hers. Pudding blinks. "Let's try…" he continues before pressing his lips onto hers in a soft, sweet kiss that is nothing like she's ever felt before. So she just closes her eyes and kisses back.

And it is true. With this embrace that's even closer than the one of a moment before they feel the little flame of pain be reduced to a tiny little spot. It'll most probably grow back into a flame when their lips won't touch each others again, but that doesn't matter to them on the moment. Because now they know the other will always be there to help them reduce the pain again. They're together now. Everything will be fine.

They both cry.

5


	2. Chapter 2: Retasu and Pai

It's late at night. Very late. Eight minutes past two o'clock, to be precise. But one part of town is still very much alive. The doors of the brothels are wide open and the most strange people come walking in. But they're all people you'd expect to go there. Except for one.

Between the strange creatures strolling those streets at this late hour there is a beautiful young woman. She hides her face underneath a hood and has one hand in her pocket, as if holding onto a weapon. When men approach her she only glances venomously at them and moves that hand a little, making them disappear as fast as they appeared. "It's her" the people whisper "Lola's girl. Stay away from her. She's a cruel, heartless monster who won't hesitate to strike". The young woman doesn't react on any of these insults. On the contrary, she uses their imagination as a way to get back home safely. She's forgiven them long ago for insulting her.

When she finally reaches the brothel she was heading for she gets a warm welcome from a beautiful, stocky woman with red hair and an air of authority around her. "Retasu, darling! Welcome home!". Retasu remains silent when taking of her coat and only sighs a little. A worried flickering appears in the woman's eyes. "Retasu…? What's wrong, sugar?". That's when Retasu turns around to the woman and bursts to tears. "Retasu!" the woman exclaims in shock. Immediately she takes the wiping young woman in her arms and hugs her tightly. "Why, sweetie, what's the matter? What happened?". Retasu sobs and tries to recapture her voice. "M-my bank account has been hacked. They've taken- they've taken almost all of my money". "Almost all of your savings? Sugar, that's horrible!". The woman knows what this means. Without the money Retasu has saved over the past few years, she can't continue her education. This'll be her last year at university. The woman smiles tenderly and caresses Retasu's back. "Don't worry, sweetie… It'll be alright… We'll figure something out… And if we really can't find a way out, you can always work here". Retasu freezes. Lola has offered that before, of course. Ever since she came here she has offered her a job at the brothel. But until now, she's never had a need to really think about it. But now… if she worked at the brothel… that means she would be able to continue her education…

The women remain silent for a few minutes. After that, Retasu wrenches herself from Lola's grip and stares at her feet. "I'll… I'll consider it…". It'll be difficult. She'll have to force herself to do it. But if this is a way she can continue her education… Maybe this is the sacrifice she has to make for her future.

She most probably has no choice.

"Alright, sweetie, don't rush your decision. Think about it. Just… think about it". Lola smiles tenderly again and runs a hand through Retasu's short, green hair. Retasu smiles back at her and grabs her bag from the floor. "I'm going upstairs now to study some more. They kicked me out of the school library for staying too long…". Lola sniggers. "Well, have fun. I'll bring you a late-night-snack in a while". "Thank you" Retasu smiles and after a short wave she goes up the stairs to her room while carefully considering her options.

She needs the money. No money means no education. No education means no future. And she will not waste her life. She will get a well-paid job and a nice house and live in peace and happiness with her two dogs George and Brighton which she has yet to buy. Everything will turn out fine. So she _needs_ her education. So she _needs_ the money. So she _needs_ a way to get the money while being able to continue her education too. So she _needs_… she needs… to accept Lola's offer. To become… to become a…

The door of Retasu's room slams against the wall because she opened it too powerfully. Her hands are clenched to fists and she has a frown on her face.

But she doesn't want to! She doesn't want to become a whore! She doesn't want to lose something as important to her as her purity to some married dork with too many sexual desires! She doesn't want to, for Gods sake!

She closes the door as powerfully as she opened it and falls down on her bed, angry. Why, why did God punish her like this? What has she done wrong in her life? Why does she have to go through all of this? Wasn't it enough already? Hasn't she been through enough already? Doesn't her life suck enough already? Isn't it enough?

She hits her pillow to get rid of her frustration and then takes up a photograph from her bedside table. On the picture there is she with a young man, still a boy in some ways. He has dark green hair and blue eyes. Also he has a very charming expression on his face, he's a handsome guy. Retasu can barely take the sight of him.

All of that is ruined now.

It has been precisely three years, five months and sixteen days. Three years, five months and sixteen days since the day everything went wrong. Since the day all of her heart got sucked into a hole. Since the day her father started drinking. Since the day that was the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning. It hurts, thinking back to that day. It still hurts. She doesn't even pay attention to the always present pain in her chest anymore. What use is there? It's better to focus on her study and make something of her life. That's what… that's what he had wanted. That's what her parents want. Then who is she to ruin her life, to waste all of their efforts, to ignore their wish? She has to focus. She has to be rational.

She has to make sacrifices.

Retasu wipes her tears from the glass of the picture and looks up, a determined look in her eyes. She's made up her mind. Tomorrow she'll tell Lola she accepts her offer. She'll do everything in her power to make her parents' wish come true. Everything. Also this. It's a sacrifice she has to make for them. So she will.

Retasu startles from her determined thoughts as someone knocks softly on her bedroom door. "Yes?". It's probably Lola with the late-night-snack she promised. She's been staring at the picture for longer than she realised. The door slowly opens and Lola's face appears in the opening. "Retasu, darling?". "Yes, Lola?". "You've got a visitor". Retasu's face pales.

A visitor. Already? But she hasn't even accepted the offer yet! How can it be possible that there is already a man… waiting for her to… Lola notices the panic in her eyes and rushes inside to comfort her. "No, no, not that kind of visitor. A real visitor. Someone who wishes to speak to you. Not a… I wouldn't send someone like that to you until you said you wanted to, don't worry. I'm not like that. It's alright, it's not-". "Lola?". Lola blinks. "Yes?". "About… about the offer…" Retasu stammers. Lola's eyebrow shoots up. "Yes…?". "I think… I mean, I've decided… I accept. I… want to work here". Lola's face breaks open in a wide smile. "Why, sweetie, I think you've made the right decision. This way you can continue your education! O, the girls will be so happy to have you with them! I, uhm… I'll bring you a schedule tomorrow. We'll start slowly… build things up a little…". Lola's voice turns into mumbling as she tries to fit Retasu into her schedule. "Thank you" Retasu whispers without looking at Lola. "Well, that's for later" Lola suddenly says "First you've got an other kind of visitor waiting for you outside". "Yes… Do you have any idea who he or she is?". "It's a young man, very handsome… Tall. Dark hair. Pale skin. Very handsome, yes. Very handsome. Shall I just send him in so you can see for yourself?". "Please". "Alright then, I'll bring that late-night-snack later". Lola walks towards the door again and winks at Retasu. "I'll see you later, sugar. Have fun". Retasu blushes. Why does Lola always think everyone wants to…? Never mind, never mind. She's not going to think about that with an unknown visitor waiting for her. It's inappropriate. She's not that kind of girl.

Not until next week, that is.

Retasu gulps and quickly puts up a smile as someone opens the door again to walk in. He sure is tall, that's true. Tall and dark, except his skin. The pale, moonlight skin contrasts heavily with his dark clothing and hair. Nevertheless, Lola was right. He is unbelievably handsome. His movements are quick and sharp, yet careful and slow. Always alert. He just doesn't make any unnecessary movements.

He doesn't look at her while walking in and closing the door behind him. He doesn't speak a word either. But something in his air reminds her of someone… She doesn't know of who, but she's positive that, although she can't say who he is, she does know this man. "Excuse me…" she manages to break the silence "Who… who exactly… are you, if I may ask?". The man remains silent and begins to slowly walks towards her. Despite the neighbourhood she is in Retasu doesn't feel threatened. She waits until he's stopped on a few foot distance and finally looks her in the eye.

Her mouth falls open.

_If I said I wouldn't, would you kill me?_

_There is no way that you can compare us to you foolish humans!_

"P-p-p-p-p-p-pai!". "Mew Lettuce". Retasu stares into his dark eyes with a combination of shock, fear, happiness, worry and just a tiny hint of affection. After standing there for a minute or three she reaches out her hand and carefully touches his face, as if to prove he's really there. "What… what on earth happened to you?" she asks in horror. Pai blinks. "You look awful…" she continues. He blinks again. "Why do you conclude something happened? My body is in perfect condition". "That may be true…". Retasu still has a worried look in her eyes. "But it's clearly there to be read in your eyes. Sit down, please". She pulls his arm and takes him to the only chair in the room, trying to press him down. "There is no need for me to-". "Please" she repeats determinedly. They look at each other. "Just sit down…" she whispers while moving her eyes to her hands. So Pai sits down on the chair while Retasu takes place on the edge of her bed. "So" she says "Please tell me. What… what happened?". Pai stares at her for a moment. She's looking at him with those bright, blue eyes, worry clearly there. How does she know everything's gone wrong? How come she can read him so easily? "A lot has happened". "Well…" Retasu urges him to continue "What?". Pai looks at her again and doesn't move. Retasu waits with a patient smile. They sit like that for a few minutes. She's willing to wait until he's ready to talk about it and he's gathering strength to tell her everything. "It… all started when we came back" he finally begins, without taking his eyes off of her.

Knock, knock.

They are interrupted by Lola, who opens the door and carefully looks in. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I've got some milk and a snack… You must eat properly, darling. I'm almost certain you didn't have dinner tonight". Retasu blushes heavily and walks towards the door to accept the plate with food and drinks. Meanwhile Pai has a quick glance around. His eye falls onto the picture on the bedside table. He stares at it for a while.

Ah. A boyfriend. Great.

After Retasu has managed to get the curious Lola out of the room she walks back towards the bed and sits down again with a sigh. "I'm sorry" she smiles "Please continue". But Pai shakes his head. Retasu blinks in confusion. "Pai…?" she asks carefully, voice not more than a soft whisper.

This is the moment Pai stands up from the chair, drops himself onto his knees in front of her and places each of his hands next to another side of her upper legs. "P-pai?" she repeats, now blushing heavily. "You know, Retasu" he whispers "They didn't want to accept it. The Mew Aqua, I mean. We were forced to run away to escape our doom. I spent years and years on finding a way to insert the Mew Aqua safely into the ground and I just couldn't find one… One day we almost got caught. Our hideout had been discovered, we had been betrayed. Taruto lost an eye that day. Kisshu… I don't even want to force you to listen to what they tried to do to him. And I, I took Taruto and Kisshu away from there. We barely got into the ship I had managed to make. It was a long persecution. And you know, Retasu, that day, while trying to escape, I made a promise to myself. I promised to myself that if I ever managed to insert the Mew Aqua properly and save our planet, if I ever got out alive, I would come back here and tell you that you are in my eyes the most perfect being that has ever existed". "P-p-pai, what are you say-". "And that, no matter what your feelings for me would be, I would take that chance to feel your lips on mine". Pai closes in quickly and before Retasu knows it he's kissed her. It was a fleeting kiss, nothing more than a slight touch of their lips. But it burns her away from inside out. "P-p-p-p-". Pai remains silent and stares at her face, now caressing it with his fingertips. Retasu closes her eyes and frowns, trying to reorder her thoughts. "Pai" she then says "Be rational". "I already wasted one chance on being with you by being rational, Retasu. I got a second chance. I will not waste that one too. I'm here. Alive. You're here. I want you". "Pai". Retasu takes his face into her hands and looks at him with a determined look in her eyes. "Pai. I don't know what you've been through. I can't even imagine what you've been through. But whatever it was, I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry". "You're sorry?". "Yes". "Why would you be sorry?". "I'm sorry that they didn't help". "That what didn't help?". "My prayers". "Your… prayers?". Retasu's look softens. "Yes. I… I prayed for you, Pai. Every night I prayed for you. But it seems… it seems my prayers were useless. I'm sorry". "You… prayed… for me…". "Yes". Pai looks absolutely stunned. "Why…?" he asks her, softly. Retasu blushes, but doesn't look away. "Because your happiness is one of my biggest wishes". "I don't understand". "I love you". The two stare at each other in shock. "I… love… you…" Retasu repeats softly. Pai turns his head towards the bedside table and the picture on it. "What about him?". Retasu blinks and stares at the picture. "That's my little brother. He… committed suicide three years ago in prison". Pai high-speedily turns his head back to look at Retasu's face. "Is that why you live here?". "Yes…" Retasu answers softly without looking away from the happy face of her brother on the picture "You could say so… After Uri's death my father started drinking… One night, after two years, he hit me. That scared both me and my father so much that he decided to finally face the day and go to rehab. My mother went with him as a mental support. I couldn't pay the rent of our house, so I searched for a different place to live. I met Lola while looking around and that's how I ended up here. I never worked here, though. I only lived here so I could continue my education. It's cheap to live here and Lola and the girls are all very kind. But now… I'm out of money. So I've decided… to work he-". "No. I won't let you. I definitely won't let you lower yourself to such a level. Never". Retasu blinks and looks back at the furious face of the man in front of her. "Bu-". "No buts. I won't let you. I'll figure something out, a way for you to continue your education without having to do this. Don't worry, I will. Trust me with that". Retasu blinks again and then gives him one of her pure, wide smiles. "Thank you…". With that he leans in to kiss her again. Retasu lets him, but after a few kisses she pulls away, only to take him in her arms. "Now…" she says softly "Tell me what's bothering you the most… Tell me… why you're so incredibly sad…". Pai stares at the wall in front of him from over her shoulder. "I wasn't fast enough…". Retasu smiles. There it comes. "If I had been faster… Taruto would still have his eye… Kisshu wouldn't have been tortured… We wouldn't have been forced to run… But I was too slow". Ah. So that's it. She knows what it's called.

Survivor's guilt.

"Silly…" Retasu whispers in his ear "You did nothing wrong! You've fought so bravely… I'm… I'm so proud of the fact… that I'm allowed to love someone like you… You're a hero, Pai, and you did your very best. Please, believe me. You did nothing wrong…".

That's it. That's what he wanted to hear. That's _exactly_ what he wanted to hear. "Thank you…" he whispers. "I mean it" Retasu smiles "I mean all of it". She looses his grip a little so Pai can look her in the eye. "I love you" he says, carefully articulating each word "I won't ever leave your side again". Retasu takes him back in her arms. "It's over, Pai…" she whispers "You're free. You're safe. You're loved. And I will always, always, be right here for you… It's over".

And it really is over. He really is free. Finally, he's free. Free of everything. And he's found all he could ever ask from life in this one girl. This one angel that holds him tight and knows exactly what he thinks, exactly what he wants to hear. This beautiful young woman that loves him almost just as much as he loves her.

He closes in to kiss her again and tastes it on his tongue:

Freedom.

5


	3. Chapter 3: Ichigo and Kisshu

"MOMOMIYA! WHERE IS MY ESPRESSO?". "I'm coming!". Ichigo rushes through the crowd of the film set, towards her boss, with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. She bumps into one or two people, but keeps running, only screaming an apology over her shoulder. Those people only laugh and scream it's not a problem in return. They all know why she's running so hard. She has the job none of them ever wanted, but were sometimes forced to have. They're all very grateful to Ichigo from saving them from that fate and are willing to get bumped into as a repayment. Everything to not have to work under that monster. Jack Starnfield.

When Ichigo has arrived at the right part she's completely out of breath and her face is red. This job sure is good at keeping her fit, that's for sure. She's running all day and all night too when she has to work overtime. She stretches out the coffee to the fat man with the beret on his head on the high chair. Gruffly he takes it from her hands. "Finally. What took you so long?". "I'm sorry, mister Starnfield" Ichigo apologises while lowering her head. Starnfield takes a sip from the coffee and sticks up his nose arrogantly. "Well, it seems like you've finally learned how to make espresso. Maybe now you'll learn how to make _good_ espresso". "Yes, sir". "Now go, before I fire you". "Yes, sir". Quickly Ichigo walks away from her boss. Leaving this place is always the best part of the day. God, she hates this job. And good _Lord_, she hates her boss. What a monster he is. Never satisfied, never a compliment, always gruff and _ugly_! Damn, that man is ugly. But now he shift is finally over and she can go. This job is like hell. Her own personal little hell with her own personal big fat devil. But she's very grateful that Zakuro managed to find it for her. She must have tried very hard for Ichigo to have found this job on the film set and Ichigo really needs it. That's also why she hasn't quit yet. She's in a desperate need of money and at least she earns _something_ this way. Not that it's much, but very well, it is something. Take it or leave it, right?

She moans as she takes off her uniform and puts on her shoes. She only waves to the girl who has he next shift and then gets away from the building. The film set is situated on a large terrain specifically for filming. It's filled with film sets and terribly difficult to figure out. When she first started this job she used to get lost everyday, until someone would help her to find her way out. That was awful and so embarrassing… Yet now it doesn't take long before she's left the premises. After working here for a couple of months she's finally learned to find her way around here.

A taxi stops in front of the enormous metal gate, this place is creepily well guarded, but she ignores it and begins to walk away in Northern direction. The place she wants to get to is on the complete other side of the city, but she just doesn't have the money to go with a taxi. Well, it's that or having a good and healthy dinner every day. So she's told herself to just take a nice long walk throughout the city.

When she passes the University she quickens her pace and turns away her head, trying to hide her face behind her hair. She's lucky today, no one notices her. This street is always the worst part of her nice long walk. Relieved she turns around the corner of the street and continues to walk down the road. She's reached the centre of the city and all around her there's traffic noises and lots and lots of people. Swiftly she moves through the crowd with a little smile around her lips. She likes doing this. It makes her feel like just a random human on this Earth. Not special, not extraordinary. No. Just a girl.

Eventually, after a little less than an hour of walking, she's reached the place she was aiming for: the hospital. She stops and stares at the big white building for a moment or two. The smile has fallen of her face and her eyes are cold. Then she walks inside. The girl behind the counter greets her like usually as she walks towards the stairs. She nods in return and closes the door behind her. After that she begins to run up the stairs, not able to walk slowly anymore. That's a particular trait she's developed in the past few months. One way or another she always runs up the stairs in the hospital, as if she can't wait to get to the place she's going to. Always hoping. Always praying. When opening the door to the hallway she slows down again, though. She won't run through a hospital, that's ridiculous. No, she walks straight towards room 326 on the left side of the hallway and silently opens the door. "Mom? Are you awake?".

In the bed in the middle of the room a pale woman sits up straight to look her daughter in the eye, a little smile around her thin lips. "Ah, Ichigo… How are you today?". "I wanted to ask you the same". Ichigo walks towards the bed and sits down on the chair next to it. The room is white and clinical. There's nothing that makes this room feel even a little bit like a home. Still she's spent more time here than in her own apartment the last months. She takes her mother's hand in hers and smiles. "Are you feeling alright?". "Yes, yes, I'm fine…" her mother softly says "I've been lucky".

Yes, she's been lucky. Terribly lucky. Most people that wake from a coma aren't able to speak anymore, let alone hold a conversation with their daughter. On the other hand, she cannot move her legs anymore and she never will.

Ichigo smiles a bitter smile and squeezes her mother's hand a little. "I'm glad".

After staying with her mother for another few hours Ichigo says goodbye and walks down the stairs again, slowly this time. It always hurts to leave her mother here, in this cold place. She deserves so much more… so much better… But he can't give her that right now. She knows it's best for her mom to stay here right now. She looked very tired again… Every time Ichigo leaves she's afraid that her mom will go back to that long sleep and that this time she won't wake up again.

Ichigo sighs and greets the girl behind the counter again, after which she begins to walk down the streets again. Her face is emotionless and cold, just to not let the tears escape. Why does she always feel the urge to cry at this time of the day? She hasn't cried anymore since it happened. No, that's not true. She cried when hearing about her mother's coma and… that other time.

She stops at a block of flats where she goes inside and runs up the stairs again. This time she _really_ can't wait to get to where she's heading for. She takes a key from her pocket and opens the door to a small apartment. There she puts down her bag and falls down on her couch. She closes her eyes and moans. She really begins to feel this daily schedule in her bones nowadays… She doesn't even have the spirit to get up to make herself some food. She's tired…

"Wow. You look like a wreck". "Wuah!". Ichigo's eyes dash open and she quickly sits up straight, falling of her couch as she does so. A shadow falls over her and she looks up to the person who's causing it while automatically reaching for her pendant, which of course isn't there. The person bows towards her with his hands on his back and smiles. "Good evening". Ichigo's hand reaches for the candlestick on the little table in front of the couch and she pulls it towards her to use as a weapon. "Who are you? How did you get in here?". The person blinks and stands up straight, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Alright, that's just insulting". "Answer me!" Ichigo demands. She's not afraid to kick this bastard in the guts when he doesn't just answer her. The burglar puts up his hands. "Wow, easy tiger. It's me!". Ichigo's eyes narrow a little further and she stares at the face of the person in front of her. "It's me…" he repeats in a soft voice, a little smile around his face.

_Thanks for the kiss that time. But now I'm hungry for more…_

_Let's go together, Ichigo!_

Ichigo's eyes widen. "You're kidding me…". "Although I love a good practical joke, I'm not kidding this time. Sorry" he smirks. Slowly Ichigo raises from the ground and puts down the candlestick. "Kish?". "Bingo! Ten points for you!". Kisshu smiles his sweet smile again and stretches out his hand to caress her face. "Hi, Koneko-chan". Ichigo grabs the hand that's caressing her cheek with both hands. "Kish! What are you doing here?". Kisshu blinks. "I'm visiting my favourite kitty, what do you think I'm doing?". "Lord, I haven't seen you in years!". Ichigo's brown eyes sparkle as she takes in her childhood friend. Or something like that. "I know…" he answers sadly "I know…". "What have you been doing all this time? Why didn't you react on our messages?". Ichigo pulls Kisshu down to sit on the couch, immediately sitting down next to him, one of his hands still in hers. Kisshu laughs softly at her excited face. "Come on, tell me!" she urges. "A little impatient, kitten?" he asks her teasingly. "O, shut up" she reacts as she keeps looking at him "What happened?".

She startles when Kisshu's smile suddenly gets bitter and he looks away from her, now staring into the distance. "Things went wrong". "What do you mean… wrong…?" she whispers, suddenly scared. "Just wrong" he answers "The authorities didn't want to accept the Mew Aqua because we killed that bastard that was once our leader, we had to run for our lives, we were hunted down like animals and eventually Pai saved us by finding a way to insert the Mew Aqua into our planet after which the authorities _finally_ realised it was something good. Idiots". Ichigo's mouth has fallen open and she blinks. "What?". "Do you honestly want me to repeat it?". "What the fuck? That's ridiculous!". "Kitten!" Kisshu smirks "Watch your language!". "Screw language! This is insane!". He laughs softly again and takes her hands in his. "It's good to see you curse again. It's been too long". "Why didn't you ask us for help?". Ichigo sends him an angry look, on which Kisshu blinks. "Well, we didn't really have the time or means to. We were being hunted down, remember?". "But- But-". Ichigo stares at him with widened eyes. Then she calms down again and stares at their hands. "I don't understand…".

Kisshu looks at the beautiful girl in front of him, the way she's staring down at their joined hands so cutely. Her brown eyes seems to shimmer and her red hair flows down her face like a river. She's put it up, but some tresses have escaped after a day of working. He notices she's grown a little taller. She's not a girl anymore. She's a woman. Then that woman he's just met looks up to him again.

He's staring at her strangely, in a way she isn't used to anymore. The gold of his eyes is soft and wondering. Only now she sees all the changes in his appearance since the last time she saw him, six years ago. His hair has been cut just an inch shorter, his body's changed from a boy to a young man. She blinks at this realisation. It's weird. What would she look like though his eyes now? He used to think she was beautiful, does he still think that of her? She's changed quite a bit the last few years… The thing's she's been through have taken their toll on her body.

Before she knows what's happening he's moved one of his hands up and taken her face in it. "Ichigo…". Where did this tension suddenly come from? Why… can't she move…? They were talking so normally just a second ago. Why is she at a loss of words now?

She doesn't realise he's closing in on her until his lips almost touch hers. That's when she snaps out of her dreamy state and shoots backwards, falling over the armrest of her couch onto the ground. "Wuah!". "Ichigo?". Kisshu's face pops up above the armrest, his eyes worried. "Ouch…". Ichigo sits up straight and rubs over her back. Then she looks up to Kisshu again, wondering what the hell just happened. Kisshu is now smiling tenderly at her while shaking his head. "My, my, what a feisty kitten you are. I almost forgot that. I only tried to kiss you". Promptly Ichigo's face changes to a beautiful deep colour of red. "I-idiot! What did you do that for?". He only shrugs his shoulders and smirks. "I wanted to kiss you". "You pervert!". He laughs softly. "Really, is that something new?". "Maybe not" Ichigo says as she stands up and brushes the dust of her skirt. "But I didn't think you'd actually try to kiss me after not seeing each other for almost a decade". "A decade, a decade… That's a little exaggerated kitten. It was only six years!". To his surprise Ichigo remains silent for a moment and stares at the ceiling. Her eyes turn hurt. "Sometimes six years are more than a hundred".

He climbs over the armrest and cups her cheek. "Hey, Koneko-chan, what happened here while I was away?". Ichigo looks at him and smiles a sad smile. "A lot". Kisshu sighs and puts his hands in his sides. "Then I guess it can't be helped…". Faster than is possible for any human to comprehend he lifts Ichigo of the floor bridal style and begins to walk back towards the couch. "What are you-?". Kisshu only sits down and gives her a penetrating look. "Tell me. Please. What happened? Why do your work for that arsehole? Why is your mom in the hospital? Where's your dad? Why do you live here? Where's that freaking tree-hugger?". Ichigo's mouth falls open with the flow of questions she's tried to avoid for the past few years and to her surprise her vision is blurred by treacherous tears. She smiles and blinks, causing the dears to run down her cheeks beautifully. "They're gone Kish. Everyone's gone". "What do you mean gone?" he asks softly as he wipes her tears away with his thumb. He actually expected her to cry. She must have been through some very harsh things. Ichigo stares in his eyes and keeps on smiling. "Four years ago my mother, my father and I got into a car accident. My father died on the spot and my mother went into a coma for three years. She's been awake for almost a year now, but her legs are paralyzed. In the second year of her coma Masaya cheated on me with some student girl. When I found out and confronted him he broke up with me before I could dump him, which caused me to not even have the little advantage of being the strong girl who immediately dumped her cheating boyfriend, but the pitiful girl who'd been simply replaced". Behind her back Kisshu's fingers turn into fists. The gold of his eyes freezes until it's stone. He'll kill that bastard once he's done here. "If it weren't for me…". Kisshu looks at the girl in his arms, that is now talking even more softly. The tears are still flowing. "We wouldn't have taken the car… and we'd never… never…". Kisshu blinks.

He knows what that is. That's survivor's guilt.

He pulls her closer to him. Ichigo's eyes widen a little. "It's not your fault… You haven't done anything wrong. You've only been one hell of a strong kitten". Ichigo closes her eyes again. "Kish…". Her voice is twisted by tears. He only smiles over her shoulder and pulls her just an inch closer. "I'm here. It's over now". Ichigo's shoulders begin to jolt and she cries until there's no tear left. Meanwhile Kisshu makes plans to murder Aoyama. It has to be slow and painful…

But as Ichigo regains her self-control she also regains her ability to think clearly, which causes her to suddenly sit up straight, take his face between her hands and give him a stern look. "You're not doing anything to him". Kisshu blinks, surprised that she knows what he's been planning, and then starts to pout. "Why _not_?". Ichigo smiles. "Because that would mean that I care". He looks away. "Dammit". He didn't think of that.

Ichigo now wrenches herself from his grip completely and stands up from the couch. "Thank you". "For what?". Kisshu goes to sit in a more comfortable position. Ichigo turns around to him and smiles again. "For letting me ruin your shirt with tears". Kisshu looks down to his shirt and smirks. Then he looks up to her again mysteriously. "What?" she asks suspiciously. He lifts up his hand, which is wet from her tears, and exasperatingly slowly begins to lick them away. Ichigo shoots back towards him and takes his hand away from his mouth. "Bastard! You're harassing me!". "No, I'm not" he says innocently "Actually, you're the one harassing me on the moment". "I'm not! I'm only stopping you from being a pervert!". He sighs. "You really can't stop that, love". "Don't call me that" she murmurs. Then she lifts up his hand and dries it with her shirt. His eyes widen a little when he feels the soft skin of her belly brush over his hand. She ignores it and continues until his hand is dry. Then she lets go of him again and moves away to get a glass of water. "Do you want a drink?" she asks him over her shoulder. "No, thank you" he manages to answer while staring at his hand. She comes back with a glass of water that's already half empty. "Aren't you hungry?" he asks her. "Strangely not" she answers him. Then she smiles. "Are you?". He shakes his head. "Not at all, I'm so used to not eating". "Not eating at all?". "Yeah, we didn't have very much". "That sucks". "I'm used to it, really". "That sucks even more". "Maybe it does, but hey, whatever". "In a strange way you're really selfless, you know that?". "Me? Selfless?". "Yeah, you're right, never mind".

She sits down on the ground and drinks up her water. After she's put it down next to her they stare at each other for a moment. She doesn't know why either. But then their peaceful stare moment is interrupted by Ichigo who in the silence suddenly hears the ticking of a clock and looks on her watch to find it's already quite late. She has a tight schedule every day and he's really disturbed it. She stands up again, watched by her visitor, and crooks her head a little while looking at him. "Listen, Kish, I don't mean to be rude, but I have to get up early in the morning again, so can we continue this conversation tomorrow?". Conversation? They were staring at each other! Well, never mind. He nods understandingly and jumps up. "Yes, of course. So. Where am I sleeping?". Ichigo blinks in surprise. "Come again?". Kisshu smirks at her reaction, but makes his eyes innocent. "What, you didn't think I was leaving you, right?". As Ichigo doesn't react at all he sniggers softly. "Kitten, kitten, kitten" he says while shaking his head "I can't leave my dearest Koneko-chan all alone at night in such a nasty neighbourhood". "I live here!" Ichigo finally reacts, perplexed but also a little annoyed by his tone "You just don't have a place to sleep, do you?". Ouch, that one's true. But no way he's going to tell her that. "How can you think that?" he asks indignantly "I have plenty places to sleep! I just want to sleep here!". "Well, get over that dream already, because it's not happening". She turns away from him and crosses her arms, surprised that he doesn't react. Then she hears him sighing and all of a sudden there are hands on her shoulders that turn her around and he's looking at her with the most intense look in his golden eyes. She blinks, not able to keep up with his abnormal speed. "I said I'm not leaving you alone". In her head Ichigo is trying to reorder her thoughts. "I know you did. But this is my house and I can send you away if I want to". "But why would you want to? I could tell from the look on your face all day that you're lonely. Why reject someone who wants to keep you company?". Ichigo looks away from his face for a moment, strangely hurt, but then looks back again, a strong look in her eyes and a little teasing smile around her lips. "Because I'm afraid my guest will try something on me". "Kitten!". Too indignant to be credible he lets go of her. "I'm shocked! I'd never, ever, try anything on you!". He looks away and smirks. "Well, unless you'd ask me to, of course…". "Kisshu". He shakes his head and looks at her again, back to being indignant. "I can't believe you actually said that to me! You actually think that of me! I'm a man now, not the boy you used to know". "As if you changed even a little bit". Suddenly he's serious. "I did". Ichigo smiles. "I know. But how am I supposed to trust you?". He smirks again. "There's no how. You just have to do it". He takes her hands in his and looks at her. "Trust me". She sighs and wrenches herself from his grip. "Fine, you can sleep on the couch". He smirks again and gives her a mysterious look with a slight hint of his perverted self, causing her to narrow her eyes in suspicion. "That's not going to happen" he says to her. Then he's gone and she's alone in the room. She looks around disorientated, only to hear his voice coming form her bedroom. "I'm sleeping here!". "Kisshu!" she screams angrily while running towards her bedroom. She opens the door to find him lying comfortably on her bed with his eyes closed. For a moment she's frozen, then she walks towards him and pushes him off. "Woah!". She sits down on the bed herself. "That's what you get…" she murmurs. His head pops up above the edge of the bed. "But that's not what I want". "Then what do you want?" she asks while looking at him. He jumps up and sits down next to her. "I want to sleep here". "Well, you can't" she simply says while crossing her arms "This is _my_ bed". He smirks again. "O, but I know that…". "Shut up". He tries a different strategy, throwing himself on her and pushing her down. "Woah!". She looks up to him angrily, ready to scold him, but then she sees him pouting like a child. "Please?" he begs "I promise to be good!". She blinks and laughs at him. Then she runs her fingers through his hair. "Silly thing. You're such a baby". He smirks. "I don't care if it works". She sighs. "You promise?". He nods seriously. "Alright then…" she answers softly "I'll trust you… But if you screw it up you're never getting in again!". "I know that". "Good. I'm going to change now, stay here". She stands up and walks away, leaving him alone in her room.

He sighs and makes himself comfortable again. There's a little smirk around his lips. The way she's looking at him, the way she's giving in so easily, the way she cries on his shoulder… This won't take long. Soon he'll finally have her.

That's when, of course, she walks in again, now in her pyjama's. A simple pink pair of pyjama's, like always. But boy, it's not like he remembers at all. Like this you can _really_ see she's become a woman. And it looks _good_.

Ichigo puts her hair down, slowly turning red again. "Stop leering at me" she says over her shoulder. He blinks and smirks at her. "That's really too much for you to ask of me when you look like that. I won't try anything on you, but don't say me I can't just look either". She turns around annoyed, but the look in his eyes keeps her from saying anything. It's not only keen, there's also a deeper layer behind that. A feeling she doesn't want to name, although she's quite sure she knows it. She looks away to not have to look at it, her eyes running over his face and then his upper body until they notice something that doesn't belong there. She walks towards him, staring at it. "Kish?". "Hmmm?" he murmurs, still staring at her body. "What's that?". "What's what?". She points at his chest with a trembling finger. "That". She's certain his face pales, though it's hardly noticeable on someone who already is so pale. "That's nothing" he says, his eyes cold all of a sudden "Never mind it". "What did they do to you?" she whispers. He sits up straight and reaches out for her. She doesn't react. "Come" he says sweetly "Come here. There's nothing to be afraid of". "That's not it…" she says while taking his hand and letting him pull her towards him, onto the bed "It's not that I'm afraid…". She looks up to his face, which now is a lot closer, and then back down at his chest as he moves her hands towards it. She looks at him doubtfully. "Come on" he whispers "It's alright". So she looks back down at his chest again and moves her hand over his clothing. Her eyes widen at the relief she feels. "Scars…". "Yes" he replies "Those are scars". "What did they do to you?" she repeats, a little scared for the answer. "I'm not telling you that" he answers with a little smile around his lips. She moves her hand away from his chest and begins to simply examine him. She notices the scars, which are everywhere. On the back of his head, on his shoulders, on his hands, on his legs, feet, back, neck, everywhere! Wherever she looks, there's scars. "What did they do to you?" she asks again, a hint of panic in her voice. She's shocked. He takes her hand in his again and brings it back up. "Let's just say that half of the Mew Aqua that was meant for our planet has been used to keep me alive. I was up against some nasty bastards and they were with more than one at a time. I killed most of them, though. But well". "How…" she asks incredulously "How can you be so casual about this…? These scars… They're from injuries that must have killed you!". He shrugs his shoulders. "I'm used to it". Her mouth falls open. "My life hasn't been a fairy tale, kitty". "I know that…". She looks at him again. "But _this_…". She didn't expect him to have been through so _much_. "It's alright" he only whispers "It's alright". But tears have already found their way to her eyes and she looks up to him in despair. "I'm so sorry…" she can only utter. That's when Kisshu places her hand back on his chest, right on the spot she can feel his heart beating. She looks down their hands in surprises. "I'm still alive. I don't feel pain anymore". He smiles softly at her. "It's over". She smiles through her tears and nods. "Yes. It's over". He's here now. He's safe now.

He pulls her close to him in an embrace. She still looks up to him from this position, though she knows what that will lead to. Because she knows what that will lead to. Because she's ready. She's finally ready for him to take her away to paradise. She's finally ready to stay by his side forever. She's finally ready to name that deeper layer. "I missed you" she says clearly. He smiles and brings his face close to hers. "I love you too". She blinks and smiles back at him. "Good". He touches his lips to hers softly. She doesn't resist anymore.

7


End file.
